Top Misconceptions About Women Who Become Gestational carrier

Surrogacy is an incredible way for LGBTQ people and those struggling with infertility to form their families—but the women who help people achieve their dream of parenthood through surrogacy face a lot of misconceptions about why they decide to become surrogates. Many people wonder why anyone would voluntarily choose to carry a child for someone else—particularly a stranger—other than for financial motivations.

This can cause a lot of suspicion about surrogate mothers. However, as anyone who has ever met one of the thousands of incredible women who have served as surrogates can tell you, the main reasons behind a surrogate mother’s motivations to undertake such a monumental task are almost always rooted in a deep desire to help those who can’t have children on their own start their families.

Apart from being altruistically minded and inspiring people, surrogates are also selected due to their proven ability to carry and deliver healthy babies. All surrogates, in fact, are mothers themselves. In this way, many women who decide to become surrogates do so not because they need the money—but because they know they have a gift to give.

Here are some common misconceptions facing women who become surrogates:

Surrogates only want the money

For most surrogates, the compensation involved is simply a way to honor the incredible service she is providing intended parents—a way to offset the strain on her own health, family, and career. Reputable surrogacy agencies, in fact, will screen out women who are overly reliant on money as a way to avoid exploitative practices. If you get the opportunity to speak with women who become surrogates, you will find that most have a personal story to tell. Maybe they have a family member who struggled with infertility or a close friend who is in the LGBTQ community. They often know how badly others want to become parents—and want to be of service to help.

Surrogates will be too attached to your baby

Another prerequisite to becoming a surrogate is this: she must have already carried and delivered a baby to term. This means she already has her own family! Often, surrogates have finished expanding their own families, but are still young and able to help others. It’s also important to remember that your gestational carrier will not be genetically related to your baby. And that your legal team will help put plenty of safeguards in place during contract negotiations to ensure your surrogate will have no legal ties to your baby.

This doesn’t mean surrogates might not develop a bond with your child—they will carry them for the duration of the pregnancy after all. Many surrogates are open to maintaining a relationship with the children they carry if the intended parents are open to that. But remember: they have their own children and families to worry about!

Anyone can become a surrogate

It is actually very difficult to become a surrogate—the women selected by surrogacy agencies are thoroughly vetted. They undergo physical, mental, and financial screenings, as well as background checks and more. Their family members are also interviewed as well to ensure they are pursuing surrogacy for the right reasons. Less than five percent of surrogacy applicants, in fact, will make it past this intense screening process.

Surrogates do not control their own bodies

Women who serve as surrogates absolutely have the final say about the decisions they make with their own bodies—which is exactly as it should be. Surrogates decide, in consultation with their intended parents and healthcare providers, the best course of action to take throughout their surrogacy journey. Surrogates and intended parents discuss a wide variety of subjects prior to an embryo transfer to reduce any potential conflict—like a surrogate’s diet and exercise routine during pregnancy, her travel and work schedules, and whether or not she’s willing to carry twins.