Heartbeat by Heartbeat: The Life of an International Patient Coordinator

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Hello, I am Mariam, an International Patient Coordinator, and I am happy to have this opportunity to share my experience and tell you about the journey our team takes alongside our patients: intended parents, surrogates, and donors.

I’ve been working in reproductive medicine for almost four years now, and during this time, I’ve learned that every patient’s story is unique and deserves its own special kind of support. I believe that clear and timely communication is the key to building trust, which is the most crucial aspect of this long journey. After all, our work is all about people, their emotions, and their peace of mind. In each surrogacy journey, our ultimate goal is to create a new life with the help of our dedicated medical experts. This is a path filled with deep emotions, hope, anticipation, and the positive energy that drives us toward our goal

I would say my favorite moment is receiving a positive pregnancy result from the lab. As soon as I send to share the news with the patient, I can’t wait for them to write back and share their joy with us! But a positive test is just the beginning. Although each step of this journey is important, I feel that the most responsible part starts with the confirmation of pregnancy.  managing every week of the pregnancy, scheduling tests and ultrasounds, and staying in constant touch with the surrogate, the doctors, and the parents. We stay on this path together until the moment our patients finally hold that new life in their arms, a life we all helped create together, as a medical and agency team. Those moments are priceless, and with every new heartbeat and delivery, we are recharging and starting it all over again for another intended parent.

Despite being determined to make it happen, this journey isn’t always filled with positivity; there are cases where we face a result or a reaction we never expected or deserved, and that is most heartbreaking for us.  One case, in particular, stays with me. It started like a usual process: communication, shipping of biological materials (embryos) from another continent, and selecting a surrogate. We only had one chance, one transfer, and we got pregnant with twins. A twin pregnancy comes with so much more to handle. It was a difficult pregnancy. Surrogate needed special attention; she had many injections, medications, and was even hospitalized several times. I remember after the 30th week of pregnancy, the surrogate’s family members would call me every single day and blame me for her decision to become a surrogate, even though every woman makes this choice herself through an informed and legal process. Despite this pressure, our only priority was the health of the surrogate and the babies. When the twins’ delivery started, the parents hadn’t arrived in Georgia yet. So, until they landed, I was visiting the surrogate and the twins in the NICU every day. The babies grew stronger, and as soon as they were discharged and received their birth certificates with our team’s help, the couple simply cut off all contact. They stopped replying to our messages, and they couldn’t even find one simple word: “thank you.” It is incredibly heartbreaking when people forget the role our team played and the long road we walked together as soon as they get what they wanted. Maybe it’s a defense mechanism for them, a way to close a difficult chapter, but for me, being the person closest to both the parents and the surrogate, it truly hurts.

I also want to tell you about the daily communication with our surrogates. We truly value the role they play, and we’re always on standby, ready to support them at a moment’s notice. Of course, it’s not always easy; there are times when things get a bit stressful, and a surrogate might become very demanding about extra resources or attention. But on the other hand, I’ve worked with so many wonderful women. To this day, I have the warmest relationships with many of them; I’ve even gotten to know their entire families! I love it when parents and surrogates stay in touch for a while after the birth. It’s a beautiful thing, and we always welcome it when they choose to stay close, as long as both sides feel comfortable with it.

My role as your coordinator is really about being right there with you, from our very first meeting to that moment of happiness. When you look at this process from the outside, it might just look like a medical procedure, but from the inside, it’s one big, shared family story. We believe in your dreams just as much as you do. That’s why I want you to remember that we, the whole team, are people too. We have hearts and feelings; unkind words or unfair actions can hurt us, but your kindness and the joy we share are what truly keep us going. Dear intended parents, if you are just starting this journey, please remember: your fears, your feelings, and your anticipation are all completely natural. We are here for you, doing everything humanly possible, because our shared goal is so much bigger than just a medical result; it’s about a new life!

 

Kind Regards,

Mariam Sharashidze

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